So I’m back on the bandwagon for AMC’s “The Walking Dead,” the second season of which started this week. The season premiere literally scared the pants right off my tush, but I’m going to keep watching anyway. I figure at the least, maybe I’ll learn some defense tactics in the event that zombies take over Westchester.
Here’s my breakdown of what would happen if zombies did indeed take over:
- Chappaqua is the first town to go. Why? They still haven’t finished the construction on that bridge over the tracks, making egress that much more difficult. Sorry, my Chappy friends. I hope it isn’t painful. I suggest zipping over to Marmalade this week to pick up some festive tableware for “The Last Supper.”
- Target is ransacked, as people rush to stock up on water, Archer Farms cookies and Missoni for Target products for their end of days.
- Walmart is the second place people run to, to stock up on guns and ammo, and snap a few final pictures of oddly dressed Walmart shoppers to send in to the People of Walmart blog.
- Caroline Corley, being the witty 107.1 Peak DJ that she is, sets the station to replay “The Monster Mash” over and over again, interrupted only for that commercial about what “Nyack is.”
- Whole Foods White Plains stops validating for parking, causing panic and pandemonium. Irate and scared customers impulsively buy stretch pants at Destination Maternity to get their $3 parking charge covered.
- Frannie’s Goodie Shop is wiped out, as looters go to town on all the DIY fro-yo and toppings they can eat before judgment day. (Sugar-free strawberry, of course, remains untouched.)