Stop Giving Me Homework!

17 May

Parenting is all about have-tos. And schedules. And activities. And obligations. Tonight, I ask my daycare center… why are you giving me so many more have-tos?? I mean, isn’t this what I pay you for? Ok, ok – let me back up. Earlier this week, Jack was sent home with a note: “bring in a traditional dish for the kids on Friday!” Sigh.

First of all, what’s a traditional dish? Like, just traditional in terms of style? One that doesn’t use nouveau, Top Chef cooking techniques? Or does it mean, traditional to our family? WTF? So of course on Tuesday, when I was already frazzled from the week and crazy deadlines and what still lay ahead, I just cast the notice to the side thinking I had a few days to think about “traditional.” I mean, let’s be honest: I’m the parent of the kid who only eats chicken hot dogs, peanut butter on raisin bread, and yogurt. And two out of three of those menu items are banned at daycare, so who am I kidding?)

Fast forward to tonight, and I’m home alone while hubby is off at some Beer and Burger festival boozing it up, and baby bear’s fast asleep leaving me no way to escape to the A&P. It’s been a long day of jetting down to and back from Philadelphia for my sister-in-law’s graduation. And of course, now I see that dreaded notice, tucked between mail on the kitchen table. F*$#$k.

Here’s the thing. The only thing I have in my fridge is honeydew, yogurt, and the aforementioned chicken hot dogs. Oh, and a pound of ground beef. So I take a quick peek in the pantry to survey the situation, and low and behold… Annie’s Beef Stroganoff. I don’t even know where this box came from. Is that bad? I’m not questioning a good thing. It has “traditional” written all over it.

So tomorrow, Jack is officially Russian, for anyone who asks. And the story will go that his grandmother made a mean stroganoff and this is her recipe. And I’m going to pray to the daycare gods that I don’t go to hell for lying about the origins of said recipe.

And note to teacher: please stop giving us parents homework!! It was cute when I had to cut out magazine pics of food for the class. It’s kind of ok when you ask me to find pictures for the classroom family tree. It’s really taking it too far when I’m cooking stroganoff for a bunch of 22 month olds… I mean, next time I’m asking to get put on payroll.


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