Tag Archives: Life

What I’m Thankful For

21 Nov

I’ve been totally slacking these last couple of weeks. Well, the honest answer is, I’ve been getting a new blog up and running. A blog to migrate this blog over to. One that makes a bit more sense for the here and now, considering I’m no longer “life-ing” in Westchester. I promise it will still be all the snark and sass you’ve come to love, and I’ll be sharing it with you soon.

In the meantime, it occurred to me that this might be a poignant last post on Westchester Life — a glimpse into things in this new life phase. So here goes. I’m thankful for:

  • Skype. And FaceTime. It’s allowed me to stay relatively connected to some friends and family whom I’ve just been missing terribly.
  • The concept of “time out.” Which really is more for me than it is for my toddler, right? By insisting he go sit and think about his behavior in a chair in the other room means I can go chug a shot of whiskey to dull the pain from all the whining, and he doesn’t have to witness mommy’s lush-ishness.
  • GPS. Seriously, thank the LAWD for this invention. Do you guys remember having to go on MapQuest and print out directions to get somewhere (which almost always ended up being six pages long, which required collating and of course, then fumbling in the car with multiple pages of commands.) Or, even before MapQuest, I remember having my glovebox stuffed with actual, fold-out maps (yes, the paper kind) and having to pull over to pull out a map and squint through trying to find your current location, then try to find your destination, then try to refold that stupid map back up properly?? WTF? Now that I’m in a new town, in a new county, in a new state, I don’t pull out of my driveway without first programming my navigation. I don’t care if I’m just going to Target down the street. You never know when someone can get lost… I don’t take my chances.
  • The chance to redecorate a bit. Here we are in a new house, unpacking our life… this is the perfect time to shake things up a bit. Like putting the booze cabinet in my bedroom. Why not?
  • Renting. We are renting our house here in North Carolina, because really, we don’t know a thing about this area so how would we know where we’d want to buy a house? And truthfully, we still own our house in Mount Kisco, and one damn house is plenty to worry about. So we’re renting, which is such a refreshing change to home ownership. I love that when the water pressure is a little too soft, I can just make a phone call to Miss Landlady and kindly let her know. Seriously, home ownership is overrated. (You heard it here, all my NYC rent stabilized friends.)
  • Bacon. I’m having an extramarital affair with bacon. Probably because people here put it in EVERYTHING. Seriously, I’ve had Benton’s bacon cornbread, bacon scones, bacon mashed potatoes, bacon wrapped bacon… it’s a bit scandalous. Shhh….
  • My friends. Who check in on me often enough to feel they haven’t forgotten all about me just yet. I am going through a lonely phase down here, with no one to meet for coffee or pals to have GF date nights with. I know it will happen but right now I’m grateful for all the check-ins to make sure I’m staying sane, aren’t eating my weight in bacon, and haven’t converted over to mom jeans.(Sort of, maybe a little, not a chance in hell… in that order.)
  • For not having been in Westchester during Hurricane Sandy. On a serious note, seeing the destruction caused by this bitchy storm has me dumbfounded and feeling so helpless this far away. But I’m also incredibly thankful my family wasn’t put out, and no one was injured, and our house survived. And for everyone who suffered damage and loss and inconveniences, I’m so sad, and I hope that your recovery is speedy and that you and your family are safe and warm this holiday season.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! What are you thankful for this year? Please share your words of wisdom, here! 

I said no, no, NO.

2 Apr

I know, I know. There are points when this blog feels more like ToddlerLife than WestchesterLife. While for me, the two go hand in hand, I realize for some of you it may not. And for that I offer my apologies. And condolences that you live in this county without at least the excuse of children (i.e. good schools) for why you’re here.

So my latest kvetch really has to do with what I’d like to call the Pre-2 No’s. Jack is just shy of 20 months. And while we have exited one fussy period, we’ve entered another. And it’s days like today I really wonder how the kids of teen moms actually manage to stay alive. There’s NO WAY a 16-year old has patience for this crap.

Now, I used to daydream about myself as a parent. In previous posts, I shared with you my delusional fantasy of parenthood which included dining with my little at a chic corner bisto, me with cappuccino and he with cup o’cheerio. Alas, those fantasies will remain just that (along with the one where an unmarked package arrives at my door consisting of 4 pairs of custom Louboutin Biancas and an Hermes Kelly bag in trademark orange.) A girl can dream…

I also used to daydream about being the kind of nouveau parent that didn’t use the word “no.” Sure, I’d read about these people in my younger years; the ones who believed that the word “no” was stagnant, and halted creative development. Surely Basquiat’s parents never said no to him, and if they had, his infamous ‘SAMO’ graffiti tag might never have been.

Let’s just say that the word “no” has officially been my most-used word of 2011. Aaaannnnd 2012. Every other word out of my mouth is “no.” As he reaches for the razor on the bathroom counter: “Jack, NO!” As he starts to drag his big, wooden activity cube-center-thingy across the brand new espresso bamboo floors: “No!”  As he picks up an umpteenth role of toilet paper and starts to unravel it, with a mad-man grin on his face. “Please, no.” And a resounding, if not defeatist “NO!” as I see his arm lift up, and start to swipe all the food I just painstakingly cooked, cooled down, and cut up,  off his high chair tray and onto the floor and the waiting mouth of Leia the Wunderdog.

So tonight, as I sip from my second tequila on the rocks, I say a big “F-YOU” to those parents who coolly mention they don’t ever use the word “no.” I’d like to think your house is in shambles and you’re a bunch of big alcoholics, and you just put up with all of that nonsense because you think it makes you hipster parents. “No” is a valuable word in my book, and one that will be instilled in this kids brain if it kills me.

Now can someone pour me another drink?