Random Thoughts.

1. I’m really pissed off that Mother Nature had to tease us with spring, encouraging my magnolia tree to prematurely bloom, only to freeze the crappers out of it 2 nights ago, turning the entire thing into a brown, brittle, hot mess.

2. I don’t know why everyone loves going to the movies so much. It’s stupid expensive, the floor is always sticky and the seats aren’t that comfy. I’d much rather wait for DVD and get my Netflix on, curled up in my Snuggie.

3. Gummy bears have officially been made a food group. What, you didn’t hear?

4. Why do newscasters always shellac their hair to within an inch of its life? Actors don’t do that… why must newscasters? It’s not helping your cause, you know, to have that helmet blow out.

5. It makes me feel old that when I think back to college, the “internet” was kind of this new thing that everyone was talking about. I used to have to go down to the computer lab and get in line to check my email at an “email station.” And pretty much the only thing in my email was a reminder to change my password. Not 1,400 unread messages, 1,100 of them from brand promotions and spam.

6. My 20-month-old can not sit through an entire episode of Dora the Explorer, but he can sit through “Despicable Me” in it’s entirety. I’m convinced this is testament to his creative intellect. And, because Dora’s talking map couldn’t be more annoying, obviously.

7. My dog has pooped in the house every single day this week. That is all.

8. Ghirardelli brownies are far superior than any other boxed variety, and I’ve taken credit on more than one occasion for them being homemade. Is that so wrong?

9. This whole printed denim thing is just wrong. I’m sorry. I’m not ok with it. Unless you’ve got pencil thighs, printed pants are just not cute.

10.  Speaking of not cute, I really, REALLY don’t like those toe-shoes. Every time I see someone wearing them I think about how sweaty each of those little toe compartments must get. Ew. Gross. Just walk barefoot for crying out loud.

11. But toe cleavage is totally fine.

When in doubt, un-suck it.