Westchester Life has a new home… and a new NAME!

What? You haven’t heard? You haven’t visited yet? What are you waiting for?

WestchesterLife is now Escaping New York!

You can find the goods HERE. Click through for all the great stories you’ve been missing!

What I’m Thankful For

I’ve been totally slacking these last couple of weeks. Well, the honest answer is, I’ve been getting a new blog up and running. A blog to migrate this blog over to. One that makes a bit more sense for the here and now, considering I’m no longer “life-ing” in Westchester. I promise it will still be all the snark and sass you’ve come to love, and I’ll be sharing it with you soon.

In the meantime, it occurred to me that this might be a poignant last post on Westchester Life — a glimpse into things in this new life phase. So here goes. I’m thankful for:

• Skype. And FaceTime. It’s allowed me to stay relatively connected to some friends and family whom I’ve just been missing terribly.
• The concept of “time out.” Which really is more for me than it is for my toddler, right? By insisting he go sit and think about his behavior in a chair in the other room means I can go chug a shot of whiskey to dull the pain from all the whining, and he doesn’t have to witness mommy’s lush-ishness.
• GPS. Seriously, thank the LAWD for this invention. Do you guys remember having to go on MapQuest and print out directions to get somewhere (which almost always ended up being six pages long, which required collating and of course, then fumbling in the car with multiple pages of commands.) Or, even before MapQuest, I remember having my glovebox stuffed with actual, fold-out maps (yes, the paper kind) and having to pull over to pull out a map and squint through trying to find your current location, then try to find your destination, then try to refold that stupid map back up properly?? WTF? Now that I’m in a new town, in a new county, in a new state, I don’t pull out of my driveway without first programming my navigation. I don’t care if I’m just going to Target down the street. You never know when someone can get lost… I don’t take my chances.
• The chance to redecorate a bit. Here we are in a new house, unpacking our life… this is the perfect time to shake things up a bit. Like putting the booze cabinet in my bedroom. Why not?
• Renting. We are renting our house here in North Carolina, because really, we don’t know a thing about this area so how would we know where we’d want to buy a house? And truthfully, we still own our house in Mount Kisco, and one damn house is plenty to worry about. So we’re renting, which is such a refreshing change to home ownership. I love that when the water pressure is a little too soft, I can just make a phone call to Miss Landlady and kindly let her know. Seriously, home ownership is overrated. (You heard it here, all my NYC rent stabilized friends.)
• Bacon. I’m having an extramarital affair with bacon. Probably because people here put it in EVERYTHING. Seriously, I’ve had Benton’s bacon cornbread, bacon scones, bacon mashed potatoes, bacon wrapped bacon… it’s a bit scandalous. Shhh….
• My friends. Who check in on me often enough to feel they haven’t forgotten all about me just yet. I am going through a lonely phase down here, with no one to meet for coffee or pals to have GF date nights with. I know it will happen but right now I’m grateful for all the check-ins to make sure I’m staying sane, aren’t eating my weight in bacon, and haven’t converted over to mom jeans.(Sort of, maybe a little, not a chance in hell… in that order.)
• For not having been in Westchester during Hurricane Sandy. On a serious note, seeing the destruction caused by this bitchy storm has me dumbfounded and feeling so helpless this far away. But I’m also incredibly thankful my family wasn’t put out, and no one was injured, and our house survived. And for everyone who suffered damage and loss and inconveniences, I’m so sad, and I hope that your recovery is speedy and that you and your family are safe and warm this holiday season.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! What are you thankful for this year? Please share your words of wisdom, here! 

My opinion matters. Yours does too.

Let your voice be heard.

There are so many things on the table in this year’s election. I don’t think Aaron Sorkin himself could have written a better storyline. Ours is a nation divided, and the stakes could not be higher.

Ask anyone who knows me and they’ll tell you I’m an impassioned liberal Democrat who uses social media to editorialize, share links and facts, promote TRUTH, and generally add to the discourse with humor, photos and whatever else is relevant. Over the last few weeks, however, my online interaction has landed me embroiled in some gnarly Twitter and Facebook debates with friends/followers who don’t believe such platforms are appropriate for political discussion.

I couldn’t disagree more.

What – you thought Facebook was just for pictures of babies, updates about epic soufflé recipe fails and witty someEcards? Sure, we love to see those things. They’re topical. Lighthearted. Cute. But really, given how much time we spend on these networks each day, shouldn’t we actually drop some real knowledge on one another? Share real, scalable content? Isn’t that where the power really lies? Don’t get me wrong, Facebook friends… I love seeing the pics you post and the funny, innocuous commentary. This is how we stay in touch for the most part — how we stay “connected”. After all, between family obligations, work obligations, Real Housewives obligations, I really do cherish the time I get to spend perusing your goings-on and such. So please, bear with me

I am simply making the case that social media is ALSO the place for us to post interesting, relevant political content. It’s called engagement. It’s called helping ensure that we all remain informed so that we can make our own evaluations and decisions! Really, shouldn’t it be all our responsibilities to make sure that “low information voters” become “information voters?”

Look, I didn’t friend you on Facebook just so I can photo stalk you (although I like to do that too). No, I friended you on Facebook because I’m interested in hearing what you have to say. And the great thing about Facebook, and Twitter? It’s opt-in or opt-out at your convenience! You don’t like hearing about how Jennifer’s potty training is going? Hide her mommy’s statuses. You don’t want to see any more pictures of cats using the words “iz” and “cheezeburger?” Hide ’em! Block ’em! Unfriend ’em!

But don’t — DON’T make me feel guilty for posting my political beliefs, my opinions, or sharing FACTS within my networks. And ladies, I’m talking to you! It’s bad enough Republicans want to take away all of our other rights, like our right to equal pay, or our right to birth control, or our right to make decisions for our bodies that we have already fought (hard) and won (fairly) for the rights to. I don’t want to have to fight for my right to party politically on Twitter or Facebook too. That’s just not cool.

Listen, I love a cat video as much as the next person, and I love knowing that my friends and followers have senses of humor and soft spots. So keep ’em coming. But the next time you get uncomfortable reading about my strong political convictions, consider exploring why you feel such discomfort. Do it for your mom, your sister, your gay friend, your daughter, your BFF, your grandmother. Do it for yourself. Explore that unease. You may find it comes from a natural fear of having your rights threatened. Which they are.

And whatever you do, whatever you believe in, whichever candidate you stand behind, ROCK YOUR VOTE on November 6th! It’s our inalienable right, our obligation as citizens, and in an election this critical, every vote counts.

Where’s the normal?

North Carolina State Fair. Oh, how I wanted to love you. Over the last two weeks, every person we’d come in contact with here in North Carolina (cashiers, pediatric nurse, waitresses, salesgirl at Restoration Hardware) asked us the same question – “Ya’ll goin’ to the Fair? It’s a good time, you should definitely check it out.”

So we did! Because people told us to. Lesson learned? Don’t do something just because a waitress tells you to.

Some takeaways from the Fair:

• Deep frying is the new slow cooking. What, you didn’t get the memo? It’s no longer enough to just enjoy a slice of pizza. It’s time to deep fry that pie, ya’ll! And burgers? They’ve lost their place on the protein pyramid… now they fall in dessert territory, when sandwiched between two Krispy Kreme glazed donuts! Gluttons rejoice! As if that weren’t enough, we witnessed fried Girl Scout Cookies, fried Kool Aid, fried butter, fried cheesecake, and fried coke. And that was in the first five minutes.

The Girl Scouts of America must be so proud.

• Full sets of teeth are not necessary or even expected. In fact, it seems to be a badge of dirty south honor to have a front tooth missing.
• Nascar  t-shirts come in all shapes. And sizes. ALL sizes.
• Obesity is relative. One large woman, squeezed into a Rascal scooter, chowing down on a monster sized turkey leg could look terribly obese. Until she passes the gentleman drinking his fried food through a straw.
• Toddlers will ALWAYS choose the ride you want to throw up from just looking at. You know the one that jolts you around in a monster truck you can barely fit your legs into, with zero suspension, leaving you crippled for 2 weeks?

He can’t feel his legs.

• I don’t think they’re showing that 47 percent video on the news down in these parts. Because the 47 percent were all rockin’ Romney stickers.
• Candy apples are a reasonable indulgence… once every decade. Any more than that and you’ll become a member of bullet point #2.

Maybe this is the snobbish New Yorker in me. I’m guessing if New York had a state fair somewhere near Albany or Buffalo, attendees would stand out too. In fact, hubby and I found ourselves wandering through the Fair, pointing out the people who looked “normal” to us. Isn’t that something? Coming from a metropolis, to feeling like the outsider for being “normal,” whatever that means. THAT is a strange feeling.

I want to state for the record, for all my friends and followers who are fearful that I’m going to turn into a southern hick, or who are using me as a test subject as they also consider moving outside of New York… I hope this didn’t scare you off. The State Fair isn’t the best representation of the Triangle area. In fact, it’s not a representation of it at all. Where I live is not exactly pig race territory, and the sophistication/education levels in these parts is pretty high, it seems. Let’s just say this will be my first — and last — State Fair visit… 

Sooo out of my element…

Every time I hear a Southern accent I cringe slightly. And every time I hear a northern one my ears perk up as I try to locate the source. That’s been my week, in a nutshell.

I know it will get easier. I know it will get better. Transition is hard on everyone, and certainly aggravated with a two year old in tow, who is also feeling a bit displaced and confused. We spent every morning this week with him shrieking, “No like school!! No want to go!! No, mommmmmmmy!!” It was heartbreaking. This is a kid who’s always loved going to daycare. He loved his teachers, he loved his friends. He would race me inside the school every morning, and then practically push me out the door because he was a “big boy” who didn’t need his mama. Talk about disruption to our lives… this isn’t easy on ANY of us.

I spent a lot of this week thinking about the things I took for granted living in New York. Things like:

• General sophistication that comes with a New York state of mind. Not that people here aren’t “sophisticated” in their own right. It’s just… different. Any New Yorker will know exactly what I mean. Are we elitist? Yup. No question. Are we apologetic for it? Nope.
• Access to things that other people just don’t have. Like being able to sit in on a taping of “Watch What Happens Live” with Andy Cohen. Or sitting next to Richard Gere in a local restaurant. Or being in the audience for a VH1 Storytellers concert. Or getting to see the inner workings of Dan Barber’s kitchen at Blue Hill at Stone Barns. I know that sounds very “celebutante” of me, but it’s true! Those experiences are SO New York.
• The narrow, uneven back roads. The Saw Mill Parkway. The Merritt. Seriously, the roads down here are in perfect condition, they are super wide, and it’s a breeze driving anywhere. You could probably do it with your eyes closed. But isn’t there something sort of charming about winding up the Saw Mill? I never thought about it until I wasn’t doing it anymore. And yep, I miss those twists and turns and dangerously narrow lanes.
• Relatively easy access into creative communities. I clearly need to find my way, and figure out where the creatives hang out and work and play, but for now I’m just a little bit missing my smarty pants peeps who inspire me, make me laugh and teach me new stuff.

Hmmph. Today the North Carolina State Fair opened. This is apparently the biggest deal in the world to North Carolinians. We are thinking about hitting it up this weekend, so be on the lookout for a post about fried soda, pig races and pie contests. In the meantime, go out and enjoy New York… grit, grime, bad attitudes and all. And take me with you in spirit…

Words of Wisdom Wednesday

The Holstee Manifesto. Click pic to get yours.

Week one in the RTP: a recap

Getting our pizza fix.

So we’ve survived our first week down south. Here’s a recap of what’s gone down in Raleigh-town:

• I’m realizing how jaded, bitter, and unfriendly service people in New York are. And how there is no accountability for this behavior. Down south, service people are friendly, approachable, and genuinely interested when they say “gooooood mornin’ ma’am! How’s your day goin’ so far?” I mean seriously, ya’ll. Who knew a cup of coffee could come with such cheer??
• Cleanliness is clearly next to godliness. Literally. Down here they are super-tuned in to both. The churches here are about the size of The Westchester. I’ve never seen anything quite like it – and streets and sidewalks are SPOTLESS. Like, eat off them spotless. People here just seem to care more about their environs. Word up to that.
• It’s a kid’s world. This area is MADE for kids. Everywhere I turn I see a playground or park. And each one is bigger and more amazing than the last. Last night we hit up a park in Durham that hosts a “First Thursday” night, with awesome, local, totally hipster food trucks serving up everything from pizza to “peace pops” to locally crafted ice cream. Hundreds of kids were just running around, jumping, playing, doing wheelbarrow races, and generally just having an awesome, old-fashioned “kid” time while moms and dads hung out, chatted, and chowed. It was like Park Slope. In the south.
• Bugs are bigger here. And just like in New York, they like me. A lot. I’m already covered in red, splotchy bites which I can’t help but scratch at constantly. Not cute. I’mma have to find a serious bug spray, hopefully one that won’t kill me with chemicals. Like the things on this list. 
• People of Raleigh eat well. Really well. We aren’t exactly “set up” in this corporate apartment to be able to do a whole lot of cooking (the kitchen is great and modern, but their version of “furnished” includes one small pot and a pan big enough to cook one measly little piece of chicken in). So we’ve been eating out and ordering in. And let’s just say, we haven’t had a bad meal yet. Not even a mediocre one. From chinese food to Mexican to locavore fresh, I’m seriously impressed. And considering how important food is to my happiness and stability, the hubby is very, very thankful as well.
• The sheer options in terms of grocery stores. No longer am I relegated to A&P as the only option in town. (Unless I counted overpriced Mrs. Greens, which I didn’t, because it was wildly overpriced.) Here I’ve got Trader Joes, Fresh Market, Whole Foods and Harris Teeter all within a mile or so of one another. Each one I visit is better than the last. They’re big, they’re super-stocked, they’re CHEAPER than back home, and did I mention the people that work there are FRIENDLY?? How novel!
• Parents aren’t as concerned with outward appearances. Kids act like kids. No one here seems to bat an eye at a public tantrum, whereas back home I felt like all eyes were on me, judging, if Jack so much as made a peep in a coffee shop or cafe. This could be a game changer.
• The weather is ridiculous. It’s October and it’s like 78-85 degrees and sunny. I sooo did not expect it to be this warm still, and didn’t pack appropriately at all for my month of “interim” living. I totally look like a Northern outcast, in my jeans and sweaters, while everyone else around me is in flip flops and shorts.

Anyone have any more NY-vs-the-world differences to share?

The Exodus

Car packed, saying our goodbyes.

Road trips are like boxes of chocolate. You never know what you’re gonna get. In our case, we were embarking on an 8-hour version, broken up over two days (with an overnight stay in DC), equipped with a toddler in tow and all belongings necessary for a one-month “temporary” housing stay strapped to our roof.

All I can say is, OY GAVALT. This has been quite the 48 hours. We might as well be in a foreign country. In the last two days I’ve:

• Eaten Chick-Fil-A (despite my very vocal protesting, whining, and dragging of feet all the way to the counter that these people are all crazy religious zealot homophobes, I have to say, their chicken is dope-tastic and the kind, little old woman who comes around and offers to refill your sodas and teas is a pretty sweet fast-food touch.)
• Signed up for a Harris Teeter loyalty card. The hubs could not be more thrilled that his new, local grocery store can be referred to simply as “the Teet.”
• Listened to a rendition of “10 little monkeys” in which the monkeys fall out of a tree and are eaten by alligators. I suppose this is the southern version? Our northern tale has the monkeys simply falling out of their bed and bumping their heads and calling their pediatrician for advice.
• Been told that in order to transfer to a NC driver’s license, I will have to retake the road and written tests. Seriously, NC? #FML
• Driven past more Romney bumper stickers than I care to count, leading me to shout obscenities through my windshield.
•  Experienced a Target twice the size of the one back in Mount Kisco. TWICE. I didn’t think that was even possible, but it is. This Target? Stocks everything from produce to wine to craft beer. If ever I had trouble in the past leaving Target without spending under $200, I am in serious, scary, take-away-the-Target-card territory now.
• Realized that toddlers don’t adjust to change as well as you might think. They are acutely aware of their surroundings, and a move like this can (and has) resulted in a reverting of many manners, rules, and behaviors we thought we had left in the rear view. Like biting. And falling on the floor and writhing around like a lunatic. And not napping. The latter of which is going to be a deal-breaker for my productivity this week. Any tips on handling this transition with the Little? I’ll pay for this advice in dry goods. See previous bullet: I’ve got a Target card and my Target sells wine…

What I will miss most about New York.

1. My house. I know this house has been on my “what I dislike most” lists over the years. It’s old. It’s creaky. It’s been a labor of love. But man, it’s a cool house, on a cool piece of property, in a cool neighborhood, in a cool town. It is the first “house” I’ve ever owned. It’s where we brought our son home from the hospital. It’s where I hosted my first Thanksgiving. It’s where I grew my first garden. It’s our HOME.
2. My Kisco crew. You know who you are. You make this town colorful and interesting. I will miss our fun dinners, evenings at Pour, and Tuesday mornings at Starbucks.
3. The landscape. Getting in my car and just driving through pretty parts of the county is seriously one of my favorite things to do. I could get lost on back roads in Bedford and be happier than ever, just daydreaming and winding my way on pretty roads with horse farms and big gated houses. I truly love the beauty here.
4. Homages to Italian at Cookery and Tarry Lodge. I’m guessing it will be harder to find real deal Italian grub in the south. Pizza… don’t even get me started. Oh, how I will miss you…
5. My bestest girlfriends. My bestie Keren, who I’ve known since we were 16, when we trekked through Israel together for six weeks. Laura, who I met at my very first ad agency job in NYC and have been BFs with ever since. Erica, who came into my life in such an interesting way, as our husbands are best friends and we just hit it off – the rest is BF history. And Maria, who I’ve known the least amount of time of all and yet I feel like I’ve known for life (my sista from another mista!). Oh girls, how I will miss our dinners, date nights, coffee dates, weekend getaways, kiddie play dates and time together just being… us. (#sadface)
6. The pride I feel in being a New Yorker. I came here with nothing; in a U-Haul truck with my girlfriend Marisa, immediately following college graduation. I had no job, no apartment… we scrambled and scrapped and figured it out, as almost every New Yorker does. I overcame a lot my first year living in the big city… and a lifetime’s worth in the coming decade. I worked for great companies, alongside brilliant people, I traveled, I became independent, I grew up, I learned a lot, I built up a thicker skin, I witnessed the largest terrorist attack on America’s soil, I bonded with my fellow New Yorkers and became stronger. I discovered ME. All in New York.
7. Jack’s daycare. We were insanely lucky – and I feel so fortunate – to have found a daycare as fabulous as Kaleidoscope. They have been instrumental in helping shape the awesome kiddo Jack is today. He’s been there for 18 months now, and moved through 3 classrooms. Each teacher has been so caring, so devoted, and so genuinely interested in the kids and families and lives outside of school. Jack has a great group of friends he’s made while there, and we both will be sad to leave them behind. Today is his last day there, and this morning as I was dropping him off I broke down in tears, as the realization hit me just how much I’m going to miss this place.
8. My smart, classy, sassy, savvy New York friends. All my blogging friends, my creatives, past co-workers, small business owners, biz partners, and acquaintances. I’m going to miss our chats, our coffees, our Serious Shit meetings, our brainstorms…
9. Our collective family members. Including my brother, our cousins, my dad (in New Jersey), various aunts and uncles, my sister in law (in Philadelphia). We love having family nearby, and we hope they aren’t just saying it when they tell us they’ll be down to visit. We’re seriously holding them to it. Seriously.
10. My in-laws. They live 20 minutes from us, and have been such a major part of our lives in every way, especially since Jack was born. We get to see them often, have impromptu visits and dinners together, and call on them for sleepovers with the Little. We are SO going to miss them and their unconditional love and support. (Can you see my heart bleeding as I type? I really, really love my in-laws!!)

We’re in the 48 hour stretch. Moving sucks. I don’t recommend it to anyone… unless of course you’re thinking of packing up and following us down south, which I welcome! More to come soon…

Goodbye, Westchester.

I’m out of here.

And I’ve struggled with how to share this news with my readers. I guess also because truthfully, I’ve been struggling with the news myself.

Westchester Life is moving… to Raleigh.

As some of you know, I’ve grappled with the “should we stay or should we go” conundrum for years. New York has a way of sinking its gritty teeth into you, and making you its bitch. But we got a get out of jail free card: a job offer for my hubby in Raleigh, North Carolina.

When the offer came, it was that moment in the game of chicken where you are forced to actually make a move because the other party is charging at you, full force. Sure, we had talked about leaving New York. I’ve shared with you my love/hate feelings before. But never was it a real, tangible option… at least not one with a real, tangible job offer attached to it. This time was different.

So we flew down, we did some recon, we ate some food, we talked to some people. We drove through neighborhoods, we checked out some pre-schools. And the verdict? A unanimous “It’s just easier in Raleigh.”

So I’m leaving, on a jet plane… I don’t know when I’ll be back again.

And I’m ok with it. I’m viewing this entire move as “an adventure.” The adventure of our lives. Moving somewhere else, experiencing something outside of this bubble we live in in New York is both scary and exciting. We won’t know anyone there. We won’t know our way around. We won’t have our go-to “spots.” We’ll have to start over, and make new friends, and find our favorite local places. But that’s kind of fun, no? The discovery of it all? The newness?

I write this as I come down off a high from a very inspiring coffee date this AM with Sheri Silver, bloggess and adventurer and free spirit and awesome mom. She asked me if I was going to continue WestchesterLife. I told her I didn’t know, that I hoped to… but I didn’t know how to transition this thing that was so location-centric to.. .well, a new location. She told me that my blog was more than that. She reminded me that I write about my experiences as a mom, as a self-employed writer, and as myself, and that people (apparently) like to share those experiences with me — the location is secondary. So if you’re glad to hear that I’ll be continuing this blog from Raleigh, you have Sheri to thank for showing me the way.

So, when does this madness happen? Next week. That’s right. I’ve let denial shape this long enough. It’s going down in Chinatown in ONE WEEK. One week! I’ll keep writing from here, before I transition this sucker over to RaleighLife. Eek, ya’ll!

So, what to make of packing it up and moving down south? Well let’s see… here are the things I’m actually looking forward to:

• Milder weather. Longer falls and springs and a shorter, milder winter. Bring on the boots and sundresses, donate all 45 of my winter coats. Sweet.
• Lower cost of living. It’s going to be an eye-opening exercise realizing how much money we’ve been pissing away living here in New York. It may require therapy to get over , actually, given how much less it costs to live in other parts of the country. From gas prices to childcare to home costs, it’s just cheaper outside of this crazy Big Apple bubble.
• Living somewhere that celebrates FAMILY. Raleigh is famous for being a very family-friendly place to live. That means an abundance of parks, trails, activities, festivals, fun weekend jaunts, outdoor movies, markets and more.
•  Less “have-tos.” Living here in the 914, in my 1904 fixer upper, has come with its challenges and obligations. We are constantly working on our house, my husband  can easily spend an entire weekend in the garage, and we’re always running around like chickens with our heads cut off. It’s always just been chalked up to, well… that’s life. But there’s something semi-refreshing about going somewhere no one really knows us. No plans! And renting a brand new, pristine house? No laboring over bathrooms and B.S.! AHH, the freedom!
• Taking it down a notch. Just a hair. A sliver, really. Because I am truly a worker bee, and I wouldn’t have it any other way, but I’m hoping some of the slow Southern nature will rub off on me a little. I want to relish in reading a book. Or linger a bit longer over a cup of coffee. And maybe do both without my iPhone dangerously close by.

Well there you have it. You’ll be hearing more about my adventures, trials and tribulations in the coming weeks, as we begin our sherpa trek down south.

Stay tuned!